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Significant significant welcome to significant life. The podcast for women who want to live lead and serve from an anchored place. I’m your host, Janice Anderson wife, mother of three CEO and lover of all things. Jesus, I firmly believe that strong women need an even stronger support system. So whether you need to get it done or come undone, this is a place where you can do it all without second,
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guessing who you are disconnecting from those who love or undervaluing your irreplaceable contribution to the world, regardless of what you’re facing this, I know for sure you were created to live and enjoy a significant life. Let’s dive into today’s episode. Oh my God. Yeah. I remember very vividly when I was trying to do the right Christian wipe lead thing to do and ask my husband,
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what did he think of my idea? Now let’s be clear. I really didn’t want to know what he thought about my idea, but I was sharing it because it’s the good Christian White thing to do. You know, I’m I want to be honorable to my husband and I want to hear his ideas. Not really not on this, but it’s almost as a kind of,
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I really was low-key informing him. I was trying to inform him. That’s really what it was. I wanted to inform him of what I was going to do, but my way of phrasing the information, you know, I was trying to be clever and make it like a question. But girl, it backfired on me, hit meth around and back fired on me.
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So here’s what happened. I was coming up on a mouse, none of my business, and I want it to open the doors to my community again. And so my husband had been apart. So let me give you a little backstory. I’m an entrepreneur. I run a community. I lead a community for women called my significant life journey where I help women walk through.
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I equip women with the skills, the strategies, tools, mindset shifts, and new behaviors introduced them, new behaviors that help them to live lead and serve from an anchor place. Totally amazing community. I love it. Get to do God’s work with God’s daughters in a way that pleases him and equip says to enjoy this significant life that he created for us back to my story.
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So I’m excited that I’m about to open the doors again. You know, the last time I opened a door, there was about eight months ago. So I was like, maybe it was six months at the time that I asked my husband and I was like, honey, Hey, you know, so I was thinking of opening their doors again and going through a launch to welcome new ladies into the membership.
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What do you think about that? Y’all hear the silence because you could see the face that I am making on the other side of this microphone, you know exactly. What’s about to happen, brother man looked at me and was like, oh yeah, no, well, you know, data has surgery that week. And now I’m planning this time because there’s spring break.
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You know, I have mapped this out, but clearly, you know, he’s seeing something that I can’t see. I don’t know. But anyway, so he’s like, yeah, you know, data has spring break and she has her surgery that week. So yeah, I think you might need to push it off a few weeks. Let me, let me find my little noisemaker thing.
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Let’s see. That’s exactly how I felt like, are you kidding me right now? Are you kidding me? Are you literally kidding me right now? What do you mean? You place it on a few weeks? Because what he didn’t know is I had already worked out all these plans. I talked to my team, I was ready to rock and roll.
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I was excited. I was like, okay, I’m about to open new doors. I’m going to do this launch. And here you go to Mo wait a couple of weeks to say that I was disappointed as an understatement. I felt a little bit unsupported. I’m laughing now because it is clearly ridiculous and a little bit rejected and all because he said,
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I need to push it off a couple of weeks. So I said, okay. And, but my, okay. Have you ever done that? Have you your okay. Been very, very loaded. That was such a loaded. Okay ladies. I was like, I can’t believe him. I should’ve never asked him. I said, as went ahead and launched this thing,
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but no, I had to try to be a good wife and I asked him and now he told me he used to be taboo weeds. You don’t get to control me. Have you just had those moments where you just go through all on a tangent? You think of all sorts of things. What I was doing was I was telling myself, oh,
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these dumb stories. He’s just trying to control me that I asked him now he wants to pull the Trump card and the leadership card in the men of the house card. And I just want to launch this because I’m ready to serve more women and do a guy called me to do, oh yes, I was doing the most in my head, but I listened.
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And I’m so glad that I listened. Although I listened to reluctantly because SIS, can I tell you something? I was being so on reasonable, my daughter hadn’t had scheduled a tonsillectomy. And so she had her tonsils removed and her adenoids removed. And although I had it blocked off a week of time, the doctor, it really is like 14 days of time for her to heal and is not,
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you know, my daughter’s 12, my middle daughter got three of those by the way, three girls. And it’s not just that she needed to recover from, you know, when they’re younger, it’s like, oh, are they doing this eating popsicles? You know, like they say on TV and you talk with your friends, but no, it was a whole experience.
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It was, it was gross. I’m going to spare you the details, but it was a whole lot of stuff going on. And she required a lot of my attention and a lot of my care and all, by the way, we have an infant in the house. So not only do we have a baby at pink at the time she had just turned one.
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I also have a 12 year old. Who’s having a major surgery in her mouth. And I miss entrepreneur who wants to serve God with my gifts and talents and change the world. One woman at a time once to go do a launch. And my husband who God has deemed the head of our household says, no, I don’t think it’s a good time.
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And I am thinking he’s crazy, but no one knew except him and God, that a lot was about to happen. Your girl was sleepless. A lot of nights, my daughter, it was just real. She had never been in that much pain before. She’d never had that experience before she needed my attention. She needed me to be around her.
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And my, and my toddler seemed to be very clingy at the time. It was so much going on. It just took all our head just to be a mama, let alone be an entrepreneur. And so I just wanted to say, can you relate to that? Can you relate to the fact that sometimes, you know, you have these great ideas and these great plans for your life and there’s something,
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maybe you don’t have a husband. That’s saying, no, you should wait two weeks. Or, and you’ll have a girlfriend that’s in the background saying, oh no serious. Maybe, maybe you want to rethink that. But, but do you have the voice of the Lord? That’s guiding you. If something is prompting, you hold off and you’re second guessing that voice.
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You’re like, no, maybe it’s me. You’re thinking, oh no, maybe I’m checking it out all. No, I’m afraid. Oh no. And really is it’s God’s way of saying daughter, you’re being a bit unreasonable. Let me read to you. My focus scripture for this is found in Proverbs chapter 19 verse 21. And it reads like this many are the plans in a person’s heart,
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but it is the Lord’s purpose. That prevails. When I hear that, I want you to, I was having a conversation with my daughter just the other day. It’s not a restrictive bursts. It’s not that the Lord is restricting you. It’s not that he’s trying to confine you. It really is a burst of protection. It really is, is saying,
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you know what? I know you got a lot of good ideas and know you got a lot of plans. I know you want to fulfill so many things, but check in with me because the things that I have for you, the purposes and the plans that I lay out, they’re going to always last. They’re going to always prevail. They’re going to always come through.
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And at the time, I didn’t want to hear that. And so for some of you, you may have some amazing plans and you have some good ideas, some things you’ve said on the shelf and you’re like, man, I wanted to make this happen. Maybe cause we’re onward, literally coming on the other side of a pandemic and you’re ready to just get back in the groove of things.
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And some of you are saying, you know what? I just need to make up for lost time. Well, first of all, before I tell you, I’m going to give you three, three ways, three strategies to consider before picking up a thing. And before doing something before allowing yourself to be ruled by your unreasonable expectation, before I tell you those three strategies to consider,
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I want to just remind you of this, the idea that you have to pick up where you left off after a season of setback, after a season of pause, after a season of rest is in and of itself unreasonable, and I would dare say cruel to yourself is so unfair to yourself to think that you have to make up for lost time. Here’s what I want to here’s where,
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when I Monish you that if it didn’t happen in that season, it didn’t happen in that season. And if God sees fit for it to happen now, yay. But if he doesn’t it’s okay, but trying to scramble and, and hustle to make up for lost time. If just cool. So here are three strategies. I like to invite you to consider as you navigate these seasons of our life and these amazing ideas that we have in any area of our life.
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The first thing that I want to you to consider is consider what is the vision of my life for this season? Note what I said, what is the vision of my life for this season? It’s not your whole life. It’s not all of your life. GLISI assays. Chapter three verse one says there’s a season for everything under the sun. There’s a time in a season for everything under the sun.
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There’s a purpose for everything under the sun. So if we could just stop and pause and reflect a minute, say, you know, what, what is the vision for this season now, as you were considering the vision for the season of your life, you’re in right now, justice season at the whole of your life, not your entire future, but just for right now,
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I want to encourage you to invite the Lord into that vision. And for me personally, I do in prayer and in journaling and I would say something like, God, father, what do you have for me in this season? What is it that you are requiring of me in this season, help me to discern the season I’m in. And then what I’m thinking about that.
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And I’m listening and I’m journaling. I, I get a picture now for me, I get pictures through words. And so my pictures normally first come through the words that are right. I don’t know how it happens for you. You may actually see a visual picture, but I see the words first. And then the picture appears after that, but I don’t move forward without a vision for the season that I’m in.
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Because every time I try to, every time it’s always some damage control needed. I’ll just say it like that. The second thing I want to encourage you to do is think about, you know, what are the values that guide your life as you are thinking about your vision. And you’re thinking about the vision for the season you’re in right now, check in with your values.
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What are the guiding principles that govern how you live? What are the guiding principles that govern your relationships? What are the guiding principles that govern how you show up and serve others? For me personally, my highest value is freedom. Listen, baby. If I feel like I am not free, even if I think my freedom is threatened, it may not even be threatened by the fact that your back is threatened.
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It’s some issues and concerns you wanted. Other high values I have is fun. It needs to be fun, whatever I’m doing, whoever I’m in ball with, I just have to have an element of fun and laughter in that thing. And so when I’m thinking about what I’m structuring for this season, is it, is it going to strip me away from feeling free or experience and freedom and my money and my location and my time and how I show up?
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Am I going to have fun when I do it? Listen, if I would have pursued going for that lot at the time that I wanted to, it would not have been fun because let me tell you for all the mamas out there and everybody who has additional responsibilities outside of maybe the thing that they enjoy or their work or their service or the things that they’re obligated to do by nature of the duty that they have in the roles that they play.
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That’s a whole nother episode. If anybody out there is like me, when duty calls and it interrupts you fulfilling a desire, there’s a tension there. Have you ever felt that the tension that happens when duty trumps desire, and if you’re not careful in how you handle that or process that or deal with that, you can make duty, especially of duty as a person,
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feel like a distraction and interruption and an inconvenience. But when you’re able to wisely discern the season that you’re in, you are equipped to make a more reasonable decision, a more reasonable choice of how you’re going to leverage your time and your attention. So then you want to ask yourself, the third strategy is you want to consider your vantage point from where I stand from,
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where I sit from this place in my life. Here are the questions you want to ask. You want to ask, how likely is this vision going to happen? How likely is it that this vision that I see this vision that I desire, this vision that I wrote down is how likely is it going to be made manifest? Now I’m talking to women who are women of high,
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high faith, most of you. And sometimes we allow our faith to be foolish. I know it’s not popular, but sometimes our faith is a bit foolish. You know, it’s, it’s like, it’s not even blind faith. It’s dumb faith. It’s like, it’s not even godly. You wanted things to happen. And there’s no way that that can happen.
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It literally, it’s going to require a miracle from the Lord. It’s like the person who’s like who hasn’t studied for tests. Hasn’t gone to class, not one single day and is praying for an a on the test. Listen, and I got faith that God’s going to come through, but he is going to come through. He’s going to teach you a lesson about being a diligent student.
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And so in the future, after you make the zero on this test, you’ll know that you need to study and to apply yourself. So come back. I digress. I want you to ask yourself when you’re considering a vantage point, ask yourself this, how likely if this going to happen? Here’s another question. What will it require of me to make this happen?
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When it comes to me, an example of my husband and me considering launching my business and opening the doors to my community, a required of me is that I provided relentless focused and presence to my business kind of more heavily than I had been the weeks prior, because a launch is a lot more heavy lifting than what it takes for running day to day,
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at least the way that I launch. And so I have to look at standing from where I am. Do I have the bandwidth? Do I have the capacity? Do I have the energy to devote what is required to the task at hand? Can I ask you those questions? Do you have the bandwidth? Do you have the capacity? Do you have the energy to devote what is required of you for you to do your part and making sure that your vision comes to pass and this season,
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if your answer is no to any of those questions, SIS, it may not be the time. And third question I would like for you to ask yourself, is this whole, do I need to help bring this vision to who do I need? What additional support do I need at the time when we were having this? We had, I don’t think we’ve hired that we have our nanny yet.
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I don’t know that if we had the new nanny yet. And so I, we did it, we did it, we did it. So our new nanny was not here. Our co our nanny at the time was very, very part-time and I just didn’t have the additional support just to make sure my house runs the way that it needs to both.
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My husband and I were are, are active in our careers. And we are full on. Both of us are strategists. Both of us require a lot of thank the Lord is not a lot of manual labor, but it is a lot of mental labor for us to do what we do and do it well. And at the end of the day,
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we need to be able to decompress so we can fully show up for ourselves and for our families. And if I was to pick that time to launch, I would have burned out just in my family. The expense to my family would have been so significant. And so when I slow down and I didn’t slow down at that time, just be careful.
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Let’s just be clear. I did it. My husband remember he’s the one, thank God for good husbands. Okay. He was the one who had the vantage point for the family at that time, because I was too engrossed in my desire to really focus on my duties, but we just thank God that he was watching over him. Okay. So late the point is this,
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you’re not lazy. You’re not stuck. You’re not overly ambitious, but you may just be a tad bit unreasonable and it’s okay. You can just check yourself, just check this check for a minute and say, look, Hey, what is the vision that God has given me for the season that I’m in? When I look at the values that I’ve implemented in my life,
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my relationships, and how I show up, does this vision align with those values? And when I assess my current vantage point where I am right now, where I stand right now, how likely is this to happen? What will it require of me? And who else do I need to pull this up? And if you can’t answer those questions, affirmatively clearly in articulately,
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it may be a great idea and just may not be the right season. And that says is, okay. So I just want to encourage you. Let’s let’s work on that being unreasonable in this season, but less let’s anchor ourselves in wise behavior and move forward from a place of strength with them and just fractional reasonability. Is that a word or rationality or something like that?
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I don’t know. I’m pretty sure none of those words were real words, but what I wanted to say is let’s intentionally live our life from a place of sound reason, which may mean which may mean we kind of listened to our husbands or to our girlfriends and definitely to our father who’s above. Okay. Ladies, I pray this episode has been helpful for you,
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that it gives you a different perspective and possibly some challenging questions that will help you as you move forward in your journey until next time I forgot what my L I forgot. I forgot what my closing line is. What is it? Oh, I got it until next time live God’s best for your life.