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Significant significant Welcome to significant life. The podcast for women who want to live lead and serve from an anchored plates. I’m your host, Janice Anderson wife, mother of three CEO and lover of all things. Jesus, I firmly believe they’re strong. Women need an even stronger support system. So whether you need to get it done or come on, then this is a place where you can do it all without second,
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guessing who you are disconnecting from those who love or undervaluing your irreplaceable contribution to the world, regardless of what you’re facing this, I know for sure you were created to live and enjoy a significant life. Let’s dive into today’s episode. Hello? Hello. Hello. And welcome back to another episode of the significant life podcast. I’m your host, Janice Anderson. And I am so excited.
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I cannot wait to dive into today’s episode. This topic is one that I know we definitely need. And in this hour, and this day, and this time, it is crucial to your success and progress. So you haven’t already take a moment, get a pin, a piece of paper, get in a space where you can really just tune in intently to what we’re going to discuss today,
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because this topic is one you will take with you for the rest of your life. Are you ready? Let’s get started. Okay. So today we’re going to talk about your relationship status. I titled this podcast relationship status. Where are we? Really? Yeah. Where are we really? I know for most of us, as we think about this idea of relationship status,
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I think over the last maybe 10 years or so, and definitely within the last five years is become popular with dating apps and social media apps that they have now, this little category that asks you, what is your status? And so for many of you, if you’re like me, you instantly went to thinking married, single divorced, or the new category is complicated.
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What, what is that? What does that mean? What does that mean? Okay. Okay. But I’m not talking about that. Y’all ladies and gentlemen, I am not talking about whether or not your relationship status is complicated, whether you’re married, single, divorced, or dating, I’m literally talking about the condition of the relationships in your life. What is your relationship status?
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Alright, so as you get ready to rank your relationship status, I, you’re probably wondering Janice, why does it even matter? Here’s why it matters in this hour, your success and progress in this hour, hinges on the quality and the health of your relationships. Let me say that one more time for the people in the back, your success and progress in this season,
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in this time of your life, hinges is completely predicated on the quality and the health of the relationships in your life. Now here’s what I want you to do. I do want you to assess those relationships, but before we do that, let’s talk through early y’all know me. If you’ve been listening to the podcast, you know, I’m very adamant and it is important to me that we define things to make sure that we’re all on the same page.
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So I want to just give us some basic definitions so that we’ll be working from the same place. Okay. Let’s start with quality. I’m excited about this. I am a nerd and I looked this up and back in the day before we had dictionary.com we used to have in our house a Webster’s dictionary and Webster’s with like the official dictionary. Was that like that in your house?
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Okay. Anyway, so I looked up the Webster’s definition of quality and here are a few definitions for quality, quality means peculiar and essential character and inherit feature capacity or role in a degree of excellence. As it relates to the relationships in our life are the relationships that are currently in your life peculiar and have a essential character translation. Do they have an essential nature attached to them?
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Are those relationships must have, okay. Number two, is there an inherent feature? Is there something specific built into that relationship? There’s this, something about that, that I just gotta have. There’s this relationship model a capacity or a specific role that this relationship have a role in your life. Thinking quality represents the significance of the relationship and the last definition and I poured out for this was degree of excellence.
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So when we look at the relationships of our life, or we look at our success and progress, this is going to hinge on the following, the degree of excellence, the peculiar and essential character, the inherent features and the capacity of the connections in our life. Okay. Okay, good. Okay. So that’s, that’s that’s number one. So as we think about this,
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as we think over the relationships in our life, and we think about this next season, we’d think about how we’re going to move forward. We consider where we are and where headed. I want you to understand that in this season success, that means your ability to achieve what you set out to achieve your ability for you to accomplish what you desire to accomplish your ability to experience what it is you were designed to experience in this season.
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In this life. It is deeply reliant upon the quality of your relationships, but it’s not just the quality. It is also the health. What do I mean by health justly? As I looked up quality, I took some time to define health and make sure that we’re all on the same page, as it relates to health health. According to Webster’s is the condition of being sound in body,
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mind, or spirit. And number two, I love this. Well, actually one, a blunt a on there is a says, especially freedom from physical disease or pain, put a pin there because I thought that was quite interesting that they poured out, especially freedom from disease or pain. Okay. I’ll put a star if you’re writing, put a star,
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cause we’re going to come back to them. And then the second definition that I found for health that I thought was relevant to our conversation today was a condition in which someone or something is thriving or doing well. Ya’ll ya’ll know when I read that, I just wanted to rip the page of the internet and say, thank you, give me that. Because a healthy relationship is one in which the condition of the relationship is thriving or doing well.
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So in this next season, your success, your ability to achieve what you set out to achieve your ability to accomplish what you want to accomplish your ability to become, to show up and to live out fully. The thing that you were designed to become hinges is predicated upon the quality. That means the central nature of, and the con and the health.
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That means the condition, the, the sound condition, the, the freedom from disease and pain or this in the, the, the condition, which in which it is thriving of those relationships, the state of thriving. Oh my gosh. Okay. So now I want you to think about this. If my next season, my ability to thrive and to do well,
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to meet, to succeed and to progress in this next season, hinges upon is resting on, is deeply influenced by the quality and the condition of the relationships in my life. My next question for you is the questionnaire I started with. What is your relationship status? What is the condition of the relationships in your life as we are going, navigating this conversation,
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I definitely want you to replay this, watch it for those of you who are watching us on video. Watch it again over and over again. I want you to take the time now to assess the relationships of your life. And don’t worry. I’m going to give you an assessment tool. I’m now going to see on a scale of one to 10,
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because that’s too easy. I’m not even going to say on a scale of one to five, because that leaves a lot up for discussion. I’m going to give you some measures. You already, so write this down or pause it. Get your paper. If you haven’t already, I want you to think about this. Or if you, if you haven’t,
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don’t have your paper with you, don’t worry. Cause guess what? I have a resource for you at the end where you can go and download this assessment and you can print it out and fill it out. Okay. So here’s number one. So when we looking at the, as you’re assessing your relationships, I want you to think in terms of these categories.
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Okay? Okay. I want you to think in terms of the following, are you ready? So here are our standards for rating the status of our relationships. So you have excellent. So is it excellent? And what that means is, is thriving or is ideal. Okay. So excellent is it is my ideal relationship is this relationship is thriving is right where we want it to be.
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It’s not perfect, but it’s the best it can be for right now. And I’m happy with it. Now, the second category is satisfied. So is the relationship satisfactory is suitable or good? Okay. It’s that? You know, it’s not where I want it to be, but you know what is suitable? And I’m fairly satisfied with where we are.
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The third one is surviving. This is we’re still alive. Translation. The relationship is poor yet. We’re still alive. And then the last category is failing. The relationship is losing strength. It is not functioning as it was intended. So here to categories, one more time, excellent, satisfied, surviving, or failing. I want you to take a moment,
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pause this audio, if you have to. And I want you to assess the relationships in your life. And so you might want to take time to just write them down, write down those relationships. And I want you to think of relationships across these five categories, your relationship with yourself. How has your connection with you? What do you think about you when you come to mind?
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When you see yourself, how do you feel? What do you think? What do you believe? How do you show up for you? Is it ideal? Is it satisfactory? Is it surviving? You alive? I’m here, but is it failing? Are you failing in that relationship? Assess yourself. Okay. And then I want you to look at the relationships in your home,
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under your roof, literally under your four walls, within the four walls of your, wherever you reside, what are the relationships like? There list whatever relationships are there. Like for me and my home, I am a wife and I am a mother. So I’ll be assessing how I’m parenting my two year old. Oh, empty. So my toddler,
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how I’m parenting my teenager, totally different thing. And how I’m parenting my 20 something year old, although she’s not in my home. She frequency are out there. And although she lives in another city, but I’m not complaining. I know I’m not complaining because I am so happy to see her because when I see her, I’m less worried. Okay.
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That’s a whole nother topic for another day, but we this thank God. So I’m assessing all of that. Okay. The third relationship I want you to assess is your work. Now your work may be within your home, just like mine is because I work from home. But I want you to think about that. Assess your relationships at work. Are they thriving?
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You know, is it excellent? Is, are you satisfied and is good? It could be better. Is Ms. Surviving? Yes is poor. I’m the bedroom hanging on. I get my check. That’s that’s it it’s just that. Or as a failing, I’m losing strength. I’m dying a slow death, maybe a fast death. I’m over this.
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And that’s whether it is a job, you go into your business, you know, whatever it is that you use from a career over location standpoint, I want you to take an assessment of that. And then your friendships. What about these are people you do life with rather you talk to your friends every day. You know, I have amazing relationships with my friends.
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I’m so happy about that. Thank you, Lord. I remember when I did not, we’ll talk about that in an upcoming episode, but I, I do like what my friends and I want to be clear about that. Okay. Let’s talk about, I mean, it is, however you do life. There is no standard for how you do life is the people you do life with.
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For me and my friends before the pandemic, we didn’t see each other every day as a result of the pandemic. We didn’t see other every day, every day or every month, but we use apps. We, you know, I don’t talk on the phone all the time, but we use things like Marco polo, where we send each other videos weekly or daily for some of us,
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any one of us has gone through a crisis. Then we are Marco polling every single day, praying, strategizing, talking it over girl, MC your base and make sure you’re okay. Some of us are in group chats. I mean, the people you do life with, how is that going? Rate it? Is it ideal? I’ll save this for the next point.
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Is it satisfactory? Is it barely surviving where we’re alive? We’re hanging on. We, you know, but it’s really poor. Is it failing? We’re losing strength and about to wrap this relationship on up. And for those of you who don’t have any friendships, we’re going to split their safe to say that it’s a losing strength. That’s failing. We’re going to put that down as the last category.
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And we’ll deal with that in another episode, because we don’t have time today, but that is a thing. Friendships are necessary. We’re going to make a case for friendship here in a second and more, more in depth in the next coming episodes. So make sure you stay dialed in because this topic is hot. It’s a hot topic. Actually, the reason we’re talking about this,
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I’m going to take a commercial break. This episode is actually brought to you by the significant life master class series. Yay. If you haven’t heard about the significant life masterclass series, it is an opportunity for you to connect with me and a global community of other women like us and go deep on specific areas of life. I’m so excited in which we go deep,
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where you want and to skills and strategies and tools in community to move you forward in a particular area of life. And actually we have one coming up, April 30th, just head on over to my significant life.org for slash masterclass. My significant life.org, a four slash masterclass to reserve your spot because this one is all about creating and cultivating life-giving relationships at home at work.
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And among those closest to you, you don’t want to miss this one. I’m going to be joined by some of my girlfriends who are absolutely amazing and incredible women. We have a licensed therapist and life coach Robin may. She’ll be there talking to us about romantic relationships, how to stay out of the roommate zone, especially for those of us who are married or those of us who are pursuing marriage,
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how to pursue, how to position yourself for marriage. This is going to be a must have conversation. You’ve got to be there. I was going to be joined with my girlfriend, Christine. So bill who is a listen to ditto homeschooling mom of three, w w where do, where do they do? They’re there. And also an entrepreneur running a successful social media marketing agency.
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And she’s an influencer online with her blog. Mom’s in charge. Amazing. She is running a profitable business profitable and not just a hobby, a profitable business. She is intentionally parenting parenting her three children. Obviously, if you’re a homeschooling, all three of them and she has a passionate marriage, how does she do it? We’re going to talk about it.
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And then the third person who’s going to be joining us is my girlfriend. Pat Perkins, listen, she held helps her corporate. I don’t know why I’m getting tongue tied, but is she does. She helps them to advance their careers. Most of her clients are middle level to executive level managers and senior execs incorporation. And she helped them to get their next promotion.
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Yay. Some of her clients include fortune 500 companies. Most of them allowed them hire her to be executive coaches to their leaders. And she helps them to increase their pay by 52%. What if your next raise was 52% of your salary right now? What would you do? What could you do with that? She’s going to talk to us about how to have a personal advocacy board,
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both at work and in our personal lives, because you don’t make those types of jobs by yourself. So she wants to talk about how do we create and cultivate life gave him given work relationships in our personal lives and in our corporate labs. And who knows why I got so tongue tied? I don’t know. I’m also going to invite a couple of my close girlfriends.
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You know, my circle. I talk a lot about the importance of having a circle. We have a community, and then we have a circle, the ones who we call when everything is haywire, the ones who we call when we don’t have no words, all we have is tears. The ones who we call a celebrate moments. Cause I can’t tell everybody,
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but I know I can tell you cause you get it. You know those friends. And if you don’t have those, you need to get those. The people I call when they’re the people I call when I’m like trying to figure out my next move, when I’m questioning who I am and my purpose, when I’m struggling with My marriage, my kids,
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myself, my family. Yeah. I call my circle and they pray with me. They go to war with me, listen, they they’ll give me bad minutes to read it. If I need to, sometimes I need 15 minutes. Sometimes I need a week. I don’t know. But those ma my crew, we’re going to be here. We’re going to talk about how he cultivated these relationships.
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Because ladies listen to this. Most of these connections that I’m going to introduce you to, I didn’t meet to well over 30. So I did it. We don’t go way back to high school. We don’t go way back to even my college days or when I played in a sorority, we don’t go to any of those. I met them as a whole full grown adult and we have a very meaningful and powerful connection.
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And we’re going to talk about how that happened and how we keep it in how we deal with the messy parts. So I’m telling you if you know that your relationships, if shoot, if you just went through the assessment of your relationship, now you realize that you’re in anything less than ideal. You need to come and join us for that masterclass head on over to my significant life.org/masterclass
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and reserve your spot and bring a girlfriend, okay. Back to our regularly scheduled program. So after you’ve those relationships. So when we, we already realized that we are going for high quality and healthy, optimal health in our relationships and in our connections, now that we know what that means, let’s take a minute to assess ahead. You assess your relationships,
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this assess where they are just looking at where those connections are, where, where are they? You know, where my connections are. I said, we looked at ourselves, our relationship with ourselves, our relationship with our work, our relationship at home, under our roof, our relationship with our friends, those we do life with and our relationship with our community at large,
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beyond your world, in your home, at your work with your friends, what are you doing in your community to make an impact beyond the people you live with? Hello? Hello. Some of us that in and of itself is like, oh man, you know, I used certain night, think about life beyond. I was so busy, surviving.
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I struggle to think of life or anyone beyond what’s going on right now. And so if you’re in that place, you need to join us because we all have something to give beyond just in our immediate circle. Okay? So I want you to think about that. And then as we wrap up, because all my gosh, I’m so excited about this topic.
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As we wrap up today, I want to bring you to this place. I wanted to share with you the essential nature of relationships. So not only are they the bedrock and they’re required for our success and progress and not only do I believe that it is important that we get clear on our status. I want to give you today. As we wrap up our episode,
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I want to give you a couple of reasons why I know this is a critical part. This is not just my opinion. This is, this is, these relationships are a critical part of your success and progress. Not because Janice thinks is a good idea. Here are two things I want to tell you about relationships. And then I’m going to see you next week because we’re going to continue this conversation and we’re going to go deep.
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And we’re going to uncover in an earth, some juiciness about relationships. That’s going to help us to do life better and how we can position ourselves for life-giving. Whether they’re life draining connections, you ready for those two things are here. Girls creation doesn’t happen without connection creation. If you, if you were called to create anything, it doesn’t happen without connection.
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How can I say that? So emphatically number one, you are here. You are here. Whether the connection, the relationship was thriving, satisfactory, poor, or failing the mere fact that there was a connection you could not have happened. You could not be present. You can not be watching me without a connection. There was a connection that happened,
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but that didn’t start just with you. The world is in existence because of a connection. There was a communal connection. When I, I look at scripture, you know, me, my foundation is scripture. When I want to know how, why things work the way they work. I go to the original intent of a thing. And I look at scripture as,
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as my framework and as my blueprint, okay. It is my foundation for a living and in Genesis chapter one verse 26, God says, let us, he didn’t just come up with this by himself. He said, us. And then that scripture was God, father, God, son, God, holy spirit lead us, make man in our own image.
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As a matter of fact, as creation began in Genesis chapter one, it says in the spirit of the, the, the spirit of God hovered over the face of the deep. So the spirit hovered over and then it says, and God spoke the spirit, that his thing. And then God did his thing. Isn’t that amazing creation is requires a connection.
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Why are relationships important? If you feel called to create anything, to create another human being, to create an impact in a world to create, what did I say this? Think about like a book, an idea or something you, it requires a connection. The mere fact that you’re listening to me, there’s a connection and this is required for creation to happen through us.
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The second thing I want to, so note about relationships and the importance of relationships is this progress requires people. So if creation, it dictates it does not happen without a connection. The second thing I want you to know is that progress requires people. If you’re going to progress anything in your life, more than likely, you’re going to need people to do it.
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Okay. Dan is there sounds really cute, but give me some evidence. So in Genesis chapter 11, verse six, I’m so happy about this first. I love when I saw this verse, I didn’t hinge on what was negative about the verse for mean what it was. It gave a case for what is possible when we do things together. So I want to the,
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well, before I even go to, I’m going to go to Genesis. I’m going to read actually I said, verse six, but I’m actually going to read verse one through six. If you don’t mind. And it came to pears NAD that no, I’m not going to read one through six on that one. Listen, because what I’m looking at,
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okay, I’m going to be one here. It is. Now the whole earth had one language and a common speech. And I’m looking at it in Abbey version. And as people move eastward, they found the plane and Shannara and they settled there. So everybody was speaking the same language, chaos, Madden. What would life would be like if we all spoke the same language.
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And then they said to each other, let’s make bricks and bake them thoroughly. And they use bricks and set of stone and tar for mortar. And then they said, come, let’s build ourselves a city with a tower that reaches to the heavens so that we can make a name for ourselves. Otherwise we’ll be scattered over the face of the whole earth.
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It’s interesting that they knew that together, that they could make a name for themselves if they did it together. But otherwise they’d be scattered interesting to me then verse five. But when the Lord came down to see the city and a tower that people were building, and this is what God said. So you had the people who already had their idea. They had this idea,
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they had this idea. Let’s go build ourselves a city and let’s do a tower to reach us to the heavens so we can make a name for ourselves. So in their own strength, their leg, we can make a name for ourselves in a way we can do it. So we build this tower. If we come together, otherwise, if we don’t come together,
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we’re going to be all over the place. And we’re going to be less effective if we’re all over the place. But then God, just in case, just in case, just in case their ideas sound good to them. But it really wasn’t a good idea. This one, to me, this was God saying you’re onto something and it may be more detrimental than what you think.
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He came down. And he said, then the Lord said in verse six, if as one people speaking the same language, they have begun to do this. Then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Can we say that one more time? This is what he says. If they do this, they have one language and they start to do this thing,
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whatever it is, it is there nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Progress requires people X actually, when we have people and we’re all on the same page, nothing is impossible. There’s like a secret power yet. We feel like we got to do it by ourselves. We feel like people are indispensable. We don’t need people. I mean that there’s not us who are listening to this podcast.
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Not you. We’re watching me right now. Not you but other people. Okay? And so I want you to know as we get ready for this next episode and you get ready to join me for the masterclass or as we talk through these next episodes, how do we create life-giving relationships? Why it’s important to have life-giving relationships. As we unpack this idea of relationship,
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I want you to just know that one creation doesn’t happen without connection to progress requires people. The mere fact that you’re listening to me, we need this connection. We need each other. I need you. You need me. And the third thing is people are messy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People are messy. They come with problems. They come with built in problems and we create more problems together.
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And that’s just a part of it. People are problematic. They they’re messy. We’re messy. It’s messy. It’s messy. It’s messy. It’s messy. But there’s a plan from that. From the beginning, there was a plan to deal with that messiness from the beginning. Do you know how I know? Because when Jesus was teaching, the disciples had a praying,
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he told them, you know, pray this way. That father, which in heaven, hallowed be that named editor. He told him, you know, that kingdom come, that will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Okay. So he’s saying go to the father. He’s teaching them how to pray. And then he says, forgive me,
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my debt. As I forgive those who are indebted to me after he gets the relationship, like he establishes the order. He establishes the ranking of the relationships. He establishes the need for reverence of God as our savior and our Lord, the very neck. And he said, he establishes that heaven and heaven coming to earth is far better than earth existing on his own.
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And as he establishes our ability to call and, and in call for heaven to come to earth and call for the way, the order in heaven to be the order on earth. The next thing that he says, forgive me, forgive me, Lord. Cause I, I had messed up. So there’s some issues going this way. There’s some, there are some vertical issues.
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I already know he, this is him telling us how to pray. Then he says, and helped me to forgive this way too. He’s he’s making way. He’s making room for the messiness of relationship. He teaches that in the foundations of prayer and the foundations of a conversation with God, the foundation he says and help me get things right this way,
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which implies that there’s going to be some messiness. And if you’re not watching me, I be watching me. You see me doing the difference between the vertical and horizontal. So there’s going to be some messiness, horizontally. There’s going to be some messiness in how you relate to your neighbor, how you relate to your sister, how you relate to your brother,
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how you relate to your husband, how you relate to your girlfriends. There’s going to be some messiness is built in and God built. Get it. He built in a plan for that. He built in a need for forgiveness. Even if we look at and I said, I was going to go, I promise I’m in the, I’m wrapping this episode up,
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but I’m going to say this part right here. Even if we look at how the 10 commandments were given to us, and we look at the nature of the commandments, God, even then, and those were just the rules for living. That’s really what those, those, those commandments were given as a rule for living as order for living, because things had gotten chaotic.
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And so God was like, okay, I’m talked to Moses. I’m a tell him less. This give us some rules for existing with God. This is how we exist with God and how we can exist with each other. How do I know? Because it says first you’ll need to have no other gods before me. All this extra worship y’all doing is messing y’all up.
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So, so one, we want to put God in high esteem and everything else is secondary to our relationship with him. Don’t have no other idols. They’ll have no other gods before me. They’ll make no graven image. All of that. Then it says ready? Don’t lie. Don’t covet your neighbor’s stuff. No, I’m sorry. Honor, your mother and your father.
00:33:08 > 00:33:24
Okay. So, so then it gets into the familiar relationship there because that’s the closest, the first relationship we have has with our mom and dad. Those are the ones with the first we were designed to have. So we got our mom and dad then with God, okay, honor them. Okay, respect honor. That goes, you know, and,
00:33:24 > 00:33:42
and if you want to increase life eat, that’s the only a commandment with a promise. And then he says, and they’ll steal from your neighbors. Don’t be, that’s how we relate. We relate where people and don’t covet. Your neighbor’s ripe. Don’t want other people’s stuff. They’ll steal from them. Don’t want their stuff. Don’t lie to them.
00:33:42 > 00:34:08
Like the, the bulk of the 10 commandments were designed to tell us how to engage with each other. So it’s cheating as how to engage with God, but also how to engage with others because people are messy yet people are necessary. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So I, I’m going to wrap us on up here. I hope you got something out of this.
00:34:08 > 00:34:29
The whole goal of today’s episode was just to make a case for relationships, the hat, and to bring it to a place where you’re checking in and you’re checking your relationship status. Where, where are you? What, what is the condition of the relationships in your life and stay tuned. I’m going to give you some tools. I’m going to give you some strategies to help you to,
00:34:32 > 00:34:52
to get them, to move them in a trajectory to where you want them to be and where they were designed to be. And then, like I said, for those of you who already know, I gotta be there with them on April 30th. I would love for you to join us, head over to massive, get life that workforce dash masterclass. And I will see you there.
00:34:52 > 00:35:12
But in the meantime, save us favorite. I subscribe to this podcast. So you’ll get notifications when we go lab again and check us back next week as we pick up, oh one, the next step in our relationship matters, mini series taxis. And by.